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Monday, November 21, 2005
People mean a thousand words..........
You know what?
I'm drowning under the bundles of assignments and presentations i have to complete and at the same time crumbling under the pressure my friends in college give me. Crying wasted tears over stoopid issues and stoopid thoughts
I thought that i wouldn't have anyone to rely on. No one to depend on. No shoulder to cry on. Only God.
But now, I'm thankful to Him for sending you people to me.
Thank you for being the rocks that i need to berpaut on, thank you for smacking n scolding me for silly thoughts,thanks for going shopping with me and reassuring me i bought the right shoe, thanks for letting me whack you all d time and yet, still encourage me to whack you and for making me laugh, thank you for making me feel treasured,thank you for going jogging with me in the early mornings and yet bear with me ffking,thank you for picking up my phone call from a public phone in NS and reassuring me abt my stolen handphone, thank you u three for being there for me when i cried,i laughed and when i was pissed even now,for being family. Thank you ah keong from sepet-remember your not supposed to understand me.Thank you other three for being there for me during those 1 and a half years going through the roller coaster ride, thank you gTL for being there for me during those growing up years. Seeing me go through my mushroomed hair years,my keropok queen years ,my infatuation years til my post and pre stree years. ;)
Thank you for being friends. For being people who care. For just being there.
For being there so that i can cry,moan and complain.
*which is what i do most of the time anyway rite? ;)*
Thank you in all imaginable ways.
Posted at 10:18 am by ming2
Meant to be heard..
Saturday, November 19, 2005
I still rise, Maya Angelou
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
Maya Angelou
Gives me inspiration,this.This we call poetry ;)
Different lifetimes,different issues but same theme- I rise.
Same anger,frustration,hope and pain.But still I rise.
Posted at 10:33 pm by ming2
Meant to be heard..
Monday, November 14, 2005
Passion and its lost.My loss.
I got a bookmark from Ms Anne at the end of my A lvls course. On the bookmark there was a quote
" Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul"
I magine how a person would be devoid of passion for something that you used to love with the very fiber of your being? Imagine doing something just for the sake of doing it.Where is the purpose and reason for doing it? How can i sail to where i want to go if i no longer find the passion or love for what im doing? I may have just lost my rudder and sails. Without it, there can be no adventure or experience...a life devoid of meaning.
"Man is only truly great when he acts from the passions; never irresistible but when he appeals to the imagination." Benjamin Disraeli,Coningsby
Posted at 11:00 pm by ming2
Meant to be heard..
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Call me a person with a delicate sentiment or an animal lover, whichever way you put it, i don't think a neglected animal is something you would look at with a sadistic grin plastered on your face.
I was having lunch in Tmn Melawis today when I saw a pitiful looking chow chow. Yes, a chow chow. A dog that i really really adore for its pudginess,fluffiness and its resemblance to a lion. A normal looking chow chow looks like a very fat and adorable bear all stuffed up. The chow chow that i saw today however, looked nothing like what i envisioned. Instead of the gleaming shine of it's coat of fur, all i saw was tuffs of dull brown hairs sticking out of the dog's body with patches of pink skin visible to the eye. Instead of a lively and intelligent pair of eyes, in it's place were a pair of black sunken holes,looking dejectedly back at me. His despair and pain could be seen miles away. His two hind legs were distorted and twisted to the point that the poor creature had trouble walking.I lost my appetite that afternoon.
My anger is directed not at anyone but the owners of that dog. And mark my words, he had an owner. I've seen the dog there many times before.It's condition doesn't seem to improve as time passes but seems to deteoriate more.
Why do you even want to rear dogs when you can't take care of them?
Why do you put them through such pain? They may not be human,but they are living creatures with feelings as well. Don't treat them like something that you can use and then discard off.Even things have value, what more living,breathing beings! A little love is what they ask for. They don't ask for the whole world at their feet. A small token of your love and a little of your time is all that is needed. Is that really so much?
Well,i can at least give the owner some credit for not throwing the dog off the streets. Some irresponsible men who call themselves humans, after tiring of their dogs and having found some other thing to amuse themselves with, does an even more despicable act-they throw their dogs out of the house to fend for themselves much like how you would throw your rubbish into the dumpster. Some for the pure sadistic pleasure of it, even burn their pets or slaughter their pets.And you call yourselves cultured humans? I can think of a more apt term - barbarians.
To say that i am angry is an understatement. Furious would be more like it. That and despair as well. For it's not only dogs that are so cruelly treated. Cats are subject to much the same thing. I often wonder, what if..what if..the roles were reversed. Instead of us ruling over them by virtue of our given brains, they rule over us and treat us exactly in the same manner we are treating them now.
How would YOU feel?
Posted at 11:16 pm by ming2
Meant to be heard..
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Random Thoughts While Mugging
Coherency is out of the question right now, so i'll settle for random thoughts that just pops out.
Eva Cassidy really has a deli voice. Mellow like soul fire. Love her renditions of True Colours and Danny Boy.
Studio Ghibli's Howl's Moving Castle is the best cartoon ive seen this year. Better even then Advent Children FF7. Heheh although Kadaj and Cloud do look deli in it, nothing beats seeing handrawn cartoons/anime of old. The haunting soundtrack by Joe Hisaishi does help in immortalising the effect.
I'm still not over the fact that someone actually put up a Kira x Lacus of GS and GSD fame template for his blog! And he's Cheryl Gan's friend. Amazing! * i want! ;) *
I want them OVA's now instead of February next year. I miss having to anticipate every Sunday and Tuesdays for my weekly feeds of anime. Without anymore interesting mecha animes coming my way,i guess im left to reading books * puts on pathetic expression*
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire looks very very very good. As everything usually does on trailer format. ;)
Yi Wen has watched Keira Knightley's portrayal as Jane Austen's Elizabeth Bennet/Darcy. When is that piece coming here to Msian shores? Id probably have to wait for another year or 2 for Pride and Prejudice to come.*Bluek*She even gave her stamp of approval -which means its gonna be good!! purportedly as good as the novel itself
I dislike departures. Of any sort. Dont like them and dont anticipate them in any way. The more i think of it,the more ill think. So quit it. :)
I dont reli mind listening to my grandma snoring while im doing my work at the wee hours of the morning but i cant endure the cold that comes with her wanting to switch on the air conditioning!! I'm freezing. Im hugging everything ive got but its apparently not working
I dont wanna panic when i start speaking up front again. Please,please oh brains of mine, dont freeze out on me. My future depends on you.
I desperately want to go to the Planetshakers concert tmrw. DESPERATELY.
But ive got to stay and finish all my backlogging work.If i dont,.....
* Well, people, here's to random thoughts and may the forever reign in my blog from now onwards* ;)
Posted at 12:33 am by ming2
Meant to be heard..
Sunday, October 30, 2005
After having endured one month,one week of Law studies in "Uni" , i'd like to say that things were rather different from what i expected. That is, academically wise. The rest of the baggage like people, momentum of studying, etc etc was as predicted and accepted.
From my deductions so far, i'd like to say that to be a lwayer is tough. To be a successful lawyer or one who has high aspirations in life,is even tougher. If you do aspire success ( of course the definition of succes being subjective to each person ) , you've got to start from your uni course.You need to plan even now for your future. And need i add that you've got to plan ruthlessly? And participate ruthlessly towards you goal. Participate and participate and participate.
One of your most important skills, * and i kid you not * is TALKING,TALKING AND TALKING. No matter how good you are in your books, without the gift of the gab,you are nothing in this arena. Participate in lectures,participate in the mooting society, participate in the lexicon,participate in the Law Debate 2006, participate participate participate.To ensure participation, we are "threatened" sweetly to think of our future CV's. Resumes and CV's are all i hear about whenever a lecturer promotes something. And grudgingly we all rush to participate because it is undeniable that in a course like law, proof of your skills is important. Another boon would be the prizes that comes with it ..scholarships, book prizes,chambering prizes with prestigious law firms like Shearn & Delamore, Zul Rafique etc etc.
All this is undeniably interesting and appealing,not to mention challenging-which makes it even more worth the while. But another fact that you cannot forget is that you have to be very independent and strong.In every aspect of your life (in this case,mine) be it emotionally,physically and mentally. So it will be tiring. Very tiring.The pressure added with the emo trauma i'll have to go through for my future will bring me down.
But i have one very very very large consolation.
At least when i am down and nobody's around, i will still have someone with me and that's my God. He will hold me in his arms be there for me and hide me in his wings and let me cry my heart out. :) So for that im grateful. For in Him,we can do anything! XD Well, im done summarizing all the major things that has happened in my week, and im through venting, so adieu peeps,till next week!
yourstrulyme! ;)
Posted at 12:34 am by ming2
Meant to be heard..
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Bouts of amnesia or forgetfullness
Do you know when sometimes life just passes you by and catches up with you so fast that you forget the very things that you think is important? Like your good friend's birthdays, promises made to your friends,even if it's petty promises and important things in people's life?
I guess thats what happened to me. Too many things happening in life to the point that you don't know whats happening and you don't know what your doing. Driving oneself to the point of exhaustion while doing so. I even forget to blog and write. One of the many passions in my life.
So..I'm really sorry. :) From the bottom of my heart. You guys know who you are.
So if i do any of that again, you have my permission to ask anything of me. Subject to a few clauses of course. ;)
Posted at 11:44 pm by ming2
Meant to be heard..
Friday, October 21, 2005
I've just realised that i enjoy intelligent people talk.
Not some incessant bimbotic crap i have to endure most of the time.
I guess thats what happens when you deprive yourself of liberalistic thinking and succumb to totally prejudiced opinions.
Cheers then,to Edna for giving me a whole new perception of pwetty girls. ;)
Posted at 5:00 am by ming2
Meant to be heard..
You know that moment where something hits you on the head and you just bowl over in rage at the fact that it happened?
Well im at this point of my life right now.
Theres a restrained anger in me that will just erupt if you even nudge at me.
So dont try.
I've had enough of being the goody two shoes every single person believes me to me.
I am not.Never will be. Accept that fact.I'm a normal teenager *yes im 19.quit asking*. Boring i may be sometimes,but thats all part of being normal stoopid.
I'd rather as much throw things at you right now than having to suffer in silence.
Suffering or for that fact DOING ANYTHING IN SILENCE has never been something that ive been good at.Silence does not become me.Neither does being a subservient mannequin all dolled up for display and to be mauled into becoming one of your next generation wannabes.Nah huh woman! Not me.
I'd rather defy you and get lost. Isnt that what you wanted?
I'm tired of you making me cry when all i want to do right now is make you cry.
I'd rather be living alone.A solitary life without you.hallelujah.
I'm tired of keeping my anger all walled in and out.
Someone once told me that crying was God's gift for us to show our emotions.
So why cant i apply the same philosophy to anger? It's not a big sin to show anger.
So why the hell do you want me to keep it in when you oh-so-blatantly shout yours for the world to see?
You're a hypocrite and you know it.
I know ive passed the stage where you get screwy over your identity and all.
Well aside from the fact that there are still pms-ey moments where you doubt and drive yourself nuts in the process, i can say im satisfied.
So to get to this stage now where i feel rebellious and destructive is refreshing.
It's like the puberty cycle revisited.All over again.
Which was nice cos u had a nice scapegoat to take the blame- hormones.
Im not blaming hormones now though. I'm just blaming people.
A specific person to be exact.
I feel like cursing but obviously i cant.
MingChoi's sensorship commitee will never allow for profanities on her blog.
Her readership will deteoriate.
Not only that,but she will be condemned forever in the eyes of the world as never again being the goody two shoes that she is.
Wait.Wasnt that the whole point to start of with?
Fuck you.
Posted at 4:38 am by ming2
Meant to be heard..
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
It's a man eat man world out there and i dont think such a philosophy applies only to those in the rat race. It applies to everyone.
A friend told me today that we shouldnt show our weaknesses to the world, or we'll only be trampled over.Not that the thought has never occured to me before. It has. But the application didn't seem very important at that time because i was safely cocooned in a very protective shell of friendship. What naivete and innocence. :) Typical of me.
For now, i see things in a clearer perspective, where seeing things through a rose tinted glass gets you in trouble more often than not. Where being cynical,embittered and experienced comes naturally when faced with the "developing" world. Ironically, they "develop" in many areas ie,science,technology,economic progress,elevation of poverty. But the development doesnt seem to have touched moral values.On the contrary,it does seem that in that area, they are deterioating.
I sound like a moral enthusiast/preacher/idealist dont i ? :)
Posted at 6:57 am by ming2
Meant to be heard..
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